To want good things to happen is natural but with too much hope.
To need someone is human and a little painful.
So where did you fit into this whole mess?
It happened not too long ago. But it feels like it.
Like i lost a person and now a new person is in front of me.
How did i let this happen to me again?
The swirl of emotions and the torment of knowledge, or the lack there of.
The voices around me telling me to be careful.
That beep that hurts every time i hear it.
But you don't know and that's okay.
Your not suppose to i guess.
That's how this seems to work all the time.
I'm here. But you're not.
The questions and the idea that i can never ask them.
The things i want to say so close to slipping out,
Only to be held back by the thought of losing it.
Tears slowly slip down.
The circle that i am in has not made it's final turn.
It breaks and i need to mend it. Tie a knot.
I want to let go. I want to believe i deserve it.
In an attempt to see things clearly i write. I write when i need to untangle myself.
This web that i'm in is of my own doing. I don't want to be tied down anymore.
This post was written in haste.
Apart from the usual nonsense that filters into our brain, i lost someone. And that added to this mundane post. She wasn't very special but she was family. to have alot going on at once and not be able to share that frustration takes it toll. Even though this post has been misinterpreted by everyone: You're not wrong, it is partly that but you don't know the whole story.