did i do it again...?

It's happening again. 

Slowly... but it's happening.

That urge to scream, the moment where I break.

I'm going to shatter again, aren't I?

One again I'm back to this place.

I'm back to the warmth I ran away from.

The warmth I told myself I did not...DID NOT...need.

But here I am again.

When is it my turn to deserve the warmth?

When is it okay for me to just feel and not fear?

When am I going to learn to trust? 

Or am I already too late?

Have I lost?

Have I unintentionally done it all over again?

Have I pushed this person away from me with mere emotion?

Have I already lost the one person who had been my equal?

My eyes hurt... but I won't let them cry.

My body aches of fear of losing...

I don't want to lose... 

I like you. I actually like you. 

I'm so close... I can hear myself crack... again.