My light in Shining armour...

These days it seems that everything is reversed.
What's my day is everybody else is night and what's my night is everybody else is day.

I guess when taking on a project like the one i have, it's inevitable that this would happen.
How could it not?

But does that make me not interested in anything else?
And because the world is working normal, but I'm backwards (really when am i ever not)
Is it ok to assume the rest of the world will go along with it?

Well all i know is that...This is My project and even if i have to bend a few rules (time,space, physics, sleeping patterns) I most defnitely will...

Wouldn't you?

This project has got me S.P.R.U.N.G
I live it...I breathe it... And I look up at the sky and ask my Homie to give me the strength to work harder.

And i thank him for giving me friends like i have. Who at a drop of a hat, coincide with my backward-ness and make it possible for me to even attempt this.

SIGH...

"I'm weird cos i hate good-byes..."

5 hours...

Today i woke up at around 12 in the afternoon

I strolled around in my xxxxl night shirt with the tea stain on it.

The one i got in the first year.

I washed my face and brushed my teeth

5 hours later...5 ish

I'm sitting at my favourite pub.

With one of my favourite people.

We're drinking beer on a hot saturday

We're talking about life.

It slipped out really,

Or maybe it didn't .

I don't really know

But it sent my head abuzz.

5 hours later(after i left the pub+had dinner+ chilled)...1 in the morning

I'm at my friends house

We're sorting photographs

I'm on FB

I'm chewing my lip in anticipation.

You called to find out whether i was okay?

ha ha ha... I'm good. I just wished you'd been the one who'd called.

5 hours later...

I don't predict the future,

I just have to wait.

It's as simple as that.

To try new things is a scary yet an exciting experience.
To want good things to happen is natural but with too much hope.
To need someone is human and a little painful.

So where did you fit into this whole mess?

It happened not too long ago. But it feels like it.
Like i lost a person and now a new person is in front of me.

How did i let this happen to me again?

The swirl of emotions and the torment of knowledge, or the lack there of.
The voices around me telling me to be careful.

That beep that hurts every time i hear it.

But you don't know and that's okay.
Your not suppose to i guess.
That's how this seems to work all the time.

I'm here. But you're not.

The questions and the idea that i can never ask them.
The things i want to say so close to slipping out,
Only to be held back by the thought of losing it.

Tears slowly slip down.

The circle that i am in has not made it's final turn.
It breaks and i need to mend it. Tie a knot.

I want to let go. I want to believe i deserve it.
Don't I?

In an attempt to see things clearly i write. I write when i need to untangle myself.
This web that i'm in is of my own doing. I don't want to be tied down anymore.


This post was written in haste.

Apart from the usual nonsense that filters into our brain, i lost someone. And that added to this mundane post. She wasn't very special but she was family. to have alot going on at once and not be able to share that frustration takes it toll. Even though this post has been misinterpreted by everyone: You're not wrong, it is partly that but you don't know the whole story.

Ice

it's all coming back and i'm confused...
If someone were to ask me at this very moment 'do you regret it?'
Right now... as i take a deep deep deep drag... i'd say yes.

I don't know why, it all came back... one image after another.
Right now it feels like everything is going to tumble.
That uneasy feeling of change and how it's going to end.

I don't like it.

Will we fight over the same thing, because i can feel our friendship fade?
Will we fight over nothing because that seems the easier way out of a messy situation?
Will i be left on my own, because i don't have a choice?

Argh... It hurts, all of it.

I don't feel the same. I look around and i feel nothing.
No ties to anyone. No loyalty. No love.

All i want to do is pick a fight! A BIG ONE
so that once that wound is made...i can feel.
Will i feel it though?

*sounds of crickets*

The Count Down Begins

My juries is in 12 hours
I keep saying 12 hours cos i can stay up till 7 in the morning if i have to
rush to college. Wait around...humm di dumm...Give my jury in a state of absolute fake
sureness and then leave...

I want this to be over...Come on next semester!
This semester has had too many twists...way too many... And I don't want it anymore
No more 5th semester!

Toon Boom now my very good friend (knocking on wood while i say this)
Is making me lazy...i have barely anything to do...but well...i don't feel like.

Tomorrow is my jury...My final jury to be more precise.
I am sitting on Facebook :|

Tomorrow is my final jury... I am watching a Zac Efron movie :|

Tomorrow is my final jury...and in 9 days i'll be home :|

Tomorrow..............................................................................................

*sigh*
And everything is moving on, the last time i asked the big guy upstairs for 'change' , he gave it to me.
Oh and how!
And now i went through a bunch of the things and the past hit me...again.
Go away 5th semester.
A friend of mine has always he wants to forget 1st year.
I never understood why
Now i do.
This is way too weird.

Everything is moving on. Am i?

i need a hug and a cup of coffee...when did college turn serious?
When did i stop to care?

My Final jury is tomorrow... i may have a mini meltdown X(

It's all there

It's in our hands...

It's cute...it's orange

It's fun taking something you love and creating something from it.
Our fest symbol/mascot is an elephant... One that has changed annually
But is still quite young and has a long way to go